December 12, 2011
To FOB or Not FOB

what the fuck is this shit this god awful article is so poorly written i want to rip my eyes and brain out and subject them to repeated, rigorous washing

September 20, 2011

this girl that i went to hs with who is 2 years my senior and also that i ran into at a bar and did a standing split in the bar and ordered an ‘adios motherfucker’ just ‘liked’ the bible and the jonas brothers on facebook i want to unfriend her but it’s like watching an accident

July 6, 2011
GOWNS: dont-ever-tell-anyone-anything: Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who...

dont-ever-tell-anyone-anything:

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

these are some of my favorite lines:

1) They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

let’s not just jump to the technicality that while i like how some books smell, it actually has never occurred to me to SNIFF a book… let’s focus on the dangling modifier here, since i’m yellow, i especially can’t resist smelling the pages? hmm.

2) If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. […] Buy her another cup of coffee.

so i guess us black coffee gals just have to buy our own shit, right? (and non-dairy? is that supposed to indicate eco-consciousness or a fragile composition???)

3) Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book.

"but, by, god", and no.

4) You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet.

by, god, i have not lived! til the day i smile so hard i Actually wonder why my heart hadn’t burst and bled out all over my chest! i shall only be an apparition of a man, a ghost of a being! TIL THE DAY.

(Source: blitzkreigkate)

May 7, 2011
"I don’t like to brush my hair. I don’t wear make up. I don’t wear heels. I don’t do accessories. But I do enjoy other girly pursuits like eating chocolate and being difficult to reason with."

— just something i thought i’d share about myself

Liked posts on Tumblr: More liked posts »